Have you ever gone through an experience that was so enormous that you felt like Alice in Wonderland when she ate the pill that made her tiny? And then you come out of it and think or even say, 'it wasn't that big' or 'I'm just fine'?
It's easy to do this with traumatic experiences. Feeling the enormity of the pain, betrayal, disrespect, abandonment, or so many other feelings is, often times, overwhelming. We end up perceiving ourselves as small, weak, powerless, a victim. And who wants that? So, instead, we minimize the experience. 'It wasn't really that bad.' 'It's just something that happened.' 'I'm over it.' 'I don't want to talk about it.'
When we minimize the bad, we also tend to minimize the good. 'It's no big deal.' 'It's just something I do.' 'Aw, but there's so many mistakes.' 'Others can do it so much better than I can.' You get the idea. We belittle our talents, abilities, and the very essence of who we are. We make ourselves contract and shrink from owning our beauty.
There's this very fertile middle ground where we own what we do, how we do it, why we do it, and who we are. We honor our voice, our feelings, our very being in the world. We know there is no need to over-aggrandize our accomplishments due to some ego-driven need to be more than. We don't minimize our experiences due to some false sense of humility or belief we have to be smaller than.
When we can be this present in the NOW, we have the capacity and ability to flow with the energy present. We know when to contract and when to expand, when to inhale and when to exhale.